In the past two days, I’ve witnessed some of the worst hairstyles I’ve seen in some time.

The first was a woman who had her head shaved with the exception of two large balls about three inches above her ears. She must be a huge fan of Disneyworld, because she looked like Minnie Mouse.

The second, I’m actually looking at right now on the train. She has her hair corn-rowed about an inch apart toward the crown of her head. On the top of the crown is a large fountain-type bun (of obviously synthetic hair) in the same orange-burgundy colored hair that the cornrows are.

If either of the women were exceptionally beautiful, they might be able to get away with wearing such horrific styles, but unfortunately…not.

I don’t know why this is, but I’ve been told that (in general) women from Jamaica and the West Indies are more likely to color their hair in unnatural colors as well as creating the most unusual hair styles (in comparison to African American women). I find that Caucasian women just tend to over process their hair and leave it like it was when they got out of bed (which is equally unattractive).

Find a classic hairstyle that suits the shape of your face. Identify your best facial feature, accentuate it and de-emphasize everything else.

Remember, unflattering hairstyles bring even more attention than flattering ones.

Popularity: 24%

When you go to your colorist, do you tell them you want highlights that are 20 shades lighter than your natural hair color in one inch chunks… or take a piece of your favorite fruit and say I’d like my hair to look like this?

Adding a little punch of color to your hair is fine, but banana and cherry should be left for the fruit.

Unless you look like a fashion model (and can get away with doing whatever you want because your body and face are so hot no one’s looking at your hair) think of using colors that your hair might naturally be when it comes out of your head. If you want highlights, you may want to consider using two of three colors (in small sections) so that it all blends together. It also tends to look better when the roots start to show.

Let’s also touch on root products for a minute. There are many companies who make products to touch up in between color. I actually don’t mind seeing a little root on someone with highlights because it looks like you were at the beach for the season and your summer hair is just growing out (although, you still don’t want it to get out of hand. Four inch roots are just plain ugly). If you have grey roots, buy one of these products. You’re covering your grey for a reason(to look younger!). If everyone can see that you have grey roots, it defeats the purpose.

Revlon’s Roux, Tween Time Hair Color Stick is a great, inexpensive product that you can find all over the internet. I know someone who’s tried other mascara-like products and found this to work the best)

Popularity: 38%

In the words of Madonna, “RESPECT YOURSELF”

I know that everyone wants to “do their own thing” and “express their inner self”, but there comes a point where self-respect and personal hygiene come into play. I take a train to work and some of the people that I come in contact with are disgusting. I sat behind someone that had chucks of something stuck in their hair. I was waiting to see a family of some kind of bugs crawled out. SOAP IS CHEAP! BATHE!

If you don’t have a hairdryer or cant afford to have your nasty dirty hair blown out or styled, cut it short and use some kind of styling product. There’s nothing worse than sitting next to someone and wondering whether you’re going to have something crawling on you after you get away from them.

(this is actually good, in comparison to the things I’ve seen)

I must say that it pleases me to see the “lunching ladies” (few as they are, I couldn’t even find a picture)
that have their hair “done”, coordinate their outfit from head to toe, carry themselves with poise and conduct themselves as if they were brought up with the manners of royalty.

Popularity: 2%

At least for some. Drag (Dressed, As, Girl, from Shakespearean times) where I grew up (in the rural mid-central US) consisted of the guys who dressed up for the midnight weekly show of the Rocky Horror Picture Show. The first real Drag Queen I saw was at a show in San Antonio after I left home.
As I live in the NY metro area, it seems as though drag has almost gone mainstream.

One of the best Drag Queens of our era, made it big with his/her own television shows a few years back.

Lady Bunny is also a household name in the NY area for her contribution to the yearly “Wigstock” celebration.

If you’re going to do drag, my only request is that you at least try to do it right (even if it’s only on Halloween).
Please shave off the goatee, and if you don’t want to shave your legs, wear opaque tights (I hate scag drag).

If you need help with your make-up, go to a MAC store or counter (they usually have no issues with drag, transvestites, or transgender) and have them give you what they consider an optimum look for your facial features.
Buy all the correct tools you need to do the job.
Go home (and if you’re unsure of your abilities) and take off one side of your face, reproduce that side to your satisfaction and when you’re through, take off the other side and do the same.
Voila! Girl YOU BETTER WORK~!

Popularity: 2%